“How have you been? Are you okay?”
“I am fine, thank you. I have been very neurodivergent. Or: I have been allowing myself to be very neurodivergent because I want to get to know myself all over again and find out what happens when I let go as much and as many as possible. And stop masking. The Dutch celebration of Sinterklaas which I didn’t celebrate is over but it did manage to occupy my mind fully. I did manage to put up my Christmas tree before Sinterklaas, on the day I also prepared and thought of a 3 course dinner because of my son’s birthday, which was actually supposed to be 4 courses but I completely ignored dessert, for which I did buy half of the ingredients but I couldn’t get my mind around completing it. On the same day I managed to fold all the laundry, cleaned the sheets of two beds and cleaned the entire house. By the time dinner started I was exhausted but dinner was lovely and I managed, including posting dinner on Instagram because I am a micro food influencer wanting to become macro, but not every day. I haven’t baked anything in a while for stomach- and Instagram content but have been thinking about it daily and I need to make a content plan for my LinkedIn newsletters, while also thinking of a subject for my 4th newsletter which is due today. I am not at home these days because of a family visit and while being there I need to think of a solo holiday to plan in December to be able to really let go and pause my masking. My coach is urging me to take this holiday and so are my friends and so am I but actually deciding where, when, how long and for how much is occupying my mind constantly. Maybe I shouldn’t go because I won’t have time to prepare for Christmas dinner and make that content plan."
A definition of 'masking': to squander your precious time and energy trying to “act normal” at the expense of your mental health
To force myself to plan that holiday I would like to end by announcing that there will be no coffee's and next newsletter in two weeks because I will be going on a solo trip. If I manage to gift that to myself.
Happy holidays! 🧘🏻♀️
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